Don’t let insecure thoughts ruin something amazing.
Chapter 3
Despite the day starting on a mundane note, in a short moment the venue was ablaze with all sorts of activities. The previous day had been more relaxed, but on this particular day tension started to rise in the air. Every contestant felt it was time to mark their territory and let the others know that they had what it takes to be a star, or as the old folks would say; separating the boys from the men. It was a robust display of talent, skill, prowess together months of hard work and practice. In this moment, it was now easy to identify the vibrant contestants, the overzealous, and the shy yet so talented ones. Everyone was eager to polish up their performances last minute whilst sneakily checking out the competition. As the contestants worked on perfecting their craft, deep down, they were slightly watching what the fellow competitors were doing- just to make sure they were good enough or better than them.
I mean, it is normal right? Casually checking out what your fellow colleagues are doing and mentally gauging how you are faring compared to them. We fall prey to comparison, then we begin to underestimate our own talents and abilities to amplify the ones in others. The irony is that they way we amplify, romanticize and adore the talent in others is the way in which we should be looking at ourselves. It is difficult to polish up and nurture you’re your own work authentically, when you have fallen into the comparison trap. That comparison births insecurity, and before you know it, you have little to no belief left in yourself.
In the midst of all these preparations, Chidera chose to be laid back and chose to observe the other contestants instead of polishing up her own work or better still, getting herself some rest. This decision was to her detriment as the observations she had invited an unwelcome guest into her head- ‘THE QUESTIONS.’
“How come I sound so different? I look heavier than these other girls! What if I am not stylish enough for this contest?” As this internal conversation dragged on, Chidera’s morale began to vapor and by the end of the day, she was in very low spirits.
As she returned to her room, she went straight for her bed and fell into a deep sleep, hoping the next day would be better. The following three days were pretty much the same- attending workshops in the morning and practicing for the rest of the day. Though Chidera was present physically, in her mind she was fighting the thoughts of whether she was good enough or if she even deserved to be in that place. These thoughts were a result of her comparing herself against the fellow contestants and she had deemed that she was falling short.
Half the time, we find ourselves comparing ourselves to fellow runners in the race. We tend to forget that these people are just working towards a similar goal with us, and they are just figuring it out as they go too.
To counter all this inferiority and insecurity that Chidera was feeling, Chidera made a step further in the wrong direction. She devised a plan to regain her footing in the competition. She thought to herself, ‘My performance is not good enough, I need to devise a new performance. My song is too soulful, I need something zesty. I could also use a different choreographer- the competition here is so tight.’ After this internal back and forth debate in her head, Chidera threw way months of practice, dedication and hard work to try and get a new performance sorted in less than 24 hours before the audition that would change her life.
So, just like that, Chidera quickly decided on her song change, and was now adjusting her choreography, making sure she is including all the trendy dance moves she could think of in. To her, she chose being relateable over being authentic- but the question is- was this going to work out in her favour, or would she live to regret it?
Within a few hours, she was able to conjure up a performance which she was hoping would make the cut. When her bestie Thato checked upon her, asking her how the rehearsals were going she had just replied, “It’s going well, I hope it makes the cut.’
How many times do we choose being relatable over being authentic, yet ignoring that both could be done without one diminishing the essence of the other?
Finally, D-Day arrived. The day she had eagerly worked for arrived. The events of that morning were a blur due to the vascillating emotions in the air. As the contestants all assembled outside the audition theatre; the order in which the contestants would appear was announced. Out of the 80 contestants auditioning, she was given the number 29, thus she had time to ease her nerves before her turn came.
Uma, the programme announced, “Number 29, Chidera, you are up next!” In this moment, Chidera stepped forward and this was her moment…
Was the new performance going to get her a spot in the band? Or was she going to fumble her way through and give a mediocre performance. Did the voices in her head betray her, or her intuition was looking out for her?
Chapter 4- the finale
Many Stories Matter 
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